Major slackness - but on to reviews! Diary of a Mad Fat Girl

Life has been crazy and I've been lazy (and look at that, I'm a poet). On to an indie book I really enjoyed! Now a mentioned, I share a kindle with my wife, hence the unusual selection but this book really was funny. It made it on to my rave scale, which is pretty big.

The Blurb

Ace Jones needs a vacation, but she's not going to get it. What she gets instead is a good dose of scandalous small town politics that takes her on a wild quest for truth and redemption. Things get really complicated when the love of her life, who she hasn’t seen or heard from in over three years, shows up and vows not to leave town until she agrees to marry him. Diary of a Mad Fat Girl is as adventurous as it is entertaining as Ace and her friends delve into illegal surveillance, stalking, and covert operations in a strip club.

Diary of a Mad Fat Girl

The main character, Ace, is the mad fat girl, and she is a foul mouthed ballsy lady who stands up for anything and everything. Basically the story goes that her friend is having the crap beaten out of her by her husband. And Ace and another friend take it upon themselves (well not exactly - read the story and you'll see) to collect evidence to prove to their friend why she should divorce the husband. You wouldn't think such a serious subject could be so funny but the author does black comedy really well. It had me laughing on the subway, something I prefer not to do. The thing I found interesting about the author (when I did a quick google for this review) is that she actually got picked up by a publishing house when they saw this book and it's getting re-released next February by the publisher. This means it still comes under an Indie book, as my wife purchased it long before it got big (I'm pretty sure of that). I recommend this book to anyone who wants to have a laugh and not take life too seriously. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it gets a 4 on the rave scale - a FOUR! That's right, I really enjoyed it and if there were mistakes, I didn't notice them.

Review of Nebula's Music, by Aubrie Dionne

Blurb

Each note brings her one step closer to the truth.
When the cyborg Nebula plays the piano she experiences memories from a time before her creation. These memories…which involve a captive rebel fighter being held on their ship…bring with them complex human feelings and awaken a desire for her to discover her origins.
Radian is the long lost love of the woman from which Nebula was made. He’s vowed to avenge his finance’s death and rescue her sister from the Gryphonites, a fierce race out to enslave the galaxy.
Nebula grapples with her identity and how much of who she is comes from someone else’s past. She is not the woman that died, yet she is undeniably drawn to Radian.
Together Nebula and Radian seek to rescue his fiancé’s sister and end the Gryphonites’ cruel reign. But can Radian learn to love again and can Nebula accept a past made from someone else’s memories?

My review

Okay I didn't buy this book, my wife did - attracted by the very striking cover. But after raving about the book when she first began reading it, by the end of it was disappointed. So she suggested I read it and blog it.

Okay even though I'm not hugely into romance I gave it a shot. The first half of the book is fantastic - and I don't say that lightly. The second half of the book… Well I'm not sure what the hell happened but I refuse to believe it's by the same person. It was like watching a major motion picture that suddenly switched to a bad, made for cable movie. Now this book is from an indie publisher (does that actually mean indie?) so I wasn't to keen to consider it because she'd technically had an editor etc then. But that didn't matter. The ending was such a let down. And the beginning - WOW. The oddest book I've come across - at least normally they suck the whole way through! Or are good enough that you can dismiss the bad bits. Had this book continued like the beginning it would have made it to my RAVE scale. Unfortunately it bombed so gets a 4 on the RANT scale. Quite pricy too - guess this is due to it being 'published'? Oh and its one of those books that only has 5 star gushy reviews yet low in the rankings, what a shocker. Note to all indie authors, avoid the gush and just be honest! Readers appreciate more (or at least this reader and his wife does..)

Anabar's Run by Will Granger

The Blurb

Sixteen-year-old Anabar has less than twelve hours to get to the capital city. This is the final test in his training to become a member of the Scouts, a band of ruthless swordsmen sworn to defend their nation. If he doesn’t make it, he will have to return to his farm, but that’s not the worst thing. His mentor, Omalof, wants the test to be as realistic as possible, so he reports Anabar as a dangerous criminal, and every soldier between him and the capital has orders to find and kill him.

ANABAR’S RUN is the story of a young man who dreams of leaving his isolated valley farm. While chasing his dream, he faces mountains and avalanches, bandits and bears, and months of brutal training. While physically tough enough to make it as a Scout, Anabar worries that he might not have the courage to fight and kill when called to do so. Despite this, he senses that he is destined to be a Scout, and is determined to make to the capital on time regardless of what he may be forced to do.

The reality - 2 stars on the RANT scale

Okay, I bought this, the blurb sounded good.  In reality… not so much.  I will also add - this book has two 4 star reviews on Amazon - God only knows what those reviewers read, it can't have been this book..

The beginning was enjoyable enough but the first thing that strikes you is how amateurish it reads.  Now as mentioned, I judge indie authors as harshly as I do 'traditionally published' authors.  I will let the occasional spelling/formatting issue slide though.  But that's it.

This book reads as though it was written by a 15yrold - and not in the Eragon manner.  In the 'And Anabar did this, then he thought that, and then Anabar did this' style.  Stilted.  Still I liked the characters enough to keep reading.  I did actually read the whole book - no skimming, hence I rated this 2 on my rant scale rather than a 1.  I was very tempted to give it a 1 when I came across this little gem.

In the book you read about a stranger observing Anabar when he was in trouble, but not helping.  It was just a minor mention, but it was there and I did notice it.  I really didn't need the author to point, out a few pages later when we meet this shady character

(appears first time on p.24)

Now I'm no expert on writing, but I have read a lot.  And I've never, ever come across this before.

My wife thought it was hilarious when I showed her and referred to it as 'authorial intrusion' and while the term sounds impressive, it isn't something you want to see.  The dialogue is stilted (there's that word again.. a common theme playing in my head while reading this) and there's lots of it.  Yay.

The formatting is shocking and the worst I've seen yet.  And that's saying something.  Chapters go from being long (normal size) to one paragraph.  There are blank pages, frequently, and then a couple of pages, for no apparent reason, are centralized.  When you're already having trouble getting into a book - this doesn't make it any easier to read.

In short - save your .99c - it ain't worth it.